Motormouth: Working at the car wash, girl

The petrol-station car wash should get an overhaul in the personnel department - bring in the washerwomen!

But no laundry powder, please. Let’s continue to use snow wash foam, which works so well. It’s a mysterious mix of car shampoo and tap water that gives the sheet-metal quite a shine, almost like a quick polish on the cheap.  

Maybe the powerful formula of the white stuff includes industrial-strength detergent, which is versatile enough to be used by mala eateries to wash their dirty dishes and by the army to jet-wash their mud-caked battle tanks. Maybe the white stuff has a special ingredient developed from surplus milk powder for the people bought cheaply from the People’s Republic of China.    

Whatever its formulation, the snow wash foam is super effective. Even the dirtiest vehicle, which has been on the road for days on end and suffered everything from bad traffic and terrible weather to smoky lorries and smelly bird shit, emerges from the snow wash chamber looking squeaky clean. 

Admittedly, the cleanliness doesn’t last long,  because chances are that the vehicle will kena bad traffic, terrible weather, smoky lorries and smelly bird shit all over again, soon enough. 

Sometimes, the cleaned car falls victim to the totally unscientific theory that washing your car would automatically induce rainfall. Thankfully, most motorists are not this unlucky. In any case, the most fastidious among them are probably more concerned about their car-care regime than the fickle tropical weather that might make them waste money on a car wash that is only good for a few minutes. 

The car-wash workers would have wasted their effort, too. It’s honest work, which goes down the drain whenever the weather decides to stain the clean car right away with complimentary polluted water from the skies.

The customers would curse their bad luck, while the service providers would take a break from all the spraying, soaping, sponging, scrubbing, and drying. Foam bubbles are fun, but far less enjoyable if you do it to earn your keep. 

Ahhh, I think car washes should be more like foam parties, complete with sweet young things who get wet in the sudsy secton. 

They greet you enthusiastically when your ride arrives unwashed, then they spray/soap/sponge/scrub/dry with the same enthusiasm and precious little expertise, after which they accept payment with a smile and wave goodbye when you leave the place happily in your clean machine. 

Would I pay extra for “Zhang Ziyis" to wash my car by hand instead of “Zhang Yimous”? Why not! 

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