Motormouth: Driving into a carpark is like playing a computer game, but it’s not fun at all

You clear one hurdle in the parking game you don’t wish to play and then you move on to the next level of difficulty, where more trials and tribulations await you.

[Story by guest columnist Tan Ah Lin]

Imagine circling a carpark searching for an available space and finding an imminently-empty spot which is destined to be yours. Hallelujah! 

It’s a proper lot, too - not half a lot squeezed between a poorly-parked MPV, a poorly-positioned pillar and a risky rear wall. There is no other car waiting nearby, and the driver is indeed leaving, and not merely putting stuff into the cabin/boot before walking away. 

But alas, this fellow’s 20-step pre-departure procedure takes forever.

The way he loads his things into his car seems to require more time and effort than an interior decorator rearranging a storeroom. 

He loads up his shopping, repacks the contents of the carriers, repositions the carriers… and then handles his backpack, shuffles his laptop bag, and zips/unzips random compartments for good measure. Eventually, he closes the boot lid, checks that it is securely shut, and double-checks that it is still securely shut. 

At long last, he opens the driver’s door and gets behind the wheel. He pushes the ignition push-button, sets the air-conditioning and fastens his seatbelt, but he is not ready to go yet, because he must verify that his rear-view mirror and side mirrors are providing the exact views he prefers, and he must adjust all three just so. 

He then scrolls through the 11 radio stations saved in the system, selects one of his favourites, but changes his mind and switches to Spotify when deejay chatter disrupts the music broadcast.  

One more important thing to do before moving off - he feels the need to read all the unread chitchat in his WhatsApp, WeChat, Telegram, Messenger and Messages. 

When he finally vacates the precious parking space, he takes his own sweet time inching his way out, for no apparent reason other than to further irritate me who grew more ancient just waiting for him to give up the space for my car, which also grew older because of this.   

Does the driver derive some sadistic satisfaction from making other drivers wait much longer and get angrier for a stupid carpark spot?

Parking idiots cause unnecessary stress in carparks.

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