Motormouth: Driving a convertible with the roof down requires sunscreen and thick skin

Sun-kissed, roof-down motoring in Singapore is a pleasure, unless you’re a thin-skinned driver.

Then you would prefer to do your topless motoring in the middle of the night when the roads are emptier, the surroundings are quieter and you’re less likely to feel embarrassed about your good motoring fortune. 

It is undoubtedly an exciting experience everytime - whatever the convertible, whenever you drop the top and wherever you hit the tarmac with the wind in your hair.  

All the sights, sounds, scenes and scenery seem so much edgier. Any speed between stationary and expressway feels faster than normal. Converting a convertible from closed to open literally opens up a whole new world to its lucky driver. 

Drop that top and driving becomes something special straightaway, like cinema curtains opening at the start of a blockbuster to remember. This is true-life roadster romance, roofless and mellifluous in equal measure. 

Sun-kissed, roof-down driving in Singapore can be a pain though, not only on the pate but also back there and down below where the sun doesn’t shine. 

The heat, humidity and exhaust fumes are killing you slowly but surely. You’re also eaten alive by green-eyed monsters nearby and everywhere - public transport users on buses, passengers in taxis and private-hire vehicles, plebeian motorists in regular runabouts, delivery drivers in commercial vehicles. 

Moreover, pedestrians on the pavements or crossing the road might give you a dirty look - maybe a bit of envy, perhaps a tinge of jealousy, or worst of all, bitterness about the social inequality in Singapore which is evident in our homes, jobs and modes of transport. 

My greatest fear while reviewing a convertible on the job is not about any of the said situations, even though I’m not thick-skinned. When driving with the top down, I worry most about yesterday’s food from today’s bird overhead, accidentally aimed at my head. 

It’s not so bad if you have a handsome head, because people and pigeons alike tend to be more forgiving when the chap behind the wheel of the open convertible looks like Brad Pitt. But I look like the pits, so I have to be extra mindful of birds in skies and trees when cruising around in a drop-top. 

If it’s drop-dead gorgeous like the MG Cyberster, then the odds are that bird shit will rain on my parade. Neither sunscreen nor thick skin can prevent this. 

Dropping the top might attract yesterday's food from today's bird overhead.

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